The Art of the Grift

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Something amazing is happening in this Republican presidential primary, it is my belief that many of the candidates including the two front-runners have no intention of ever being President or holding any kind of public office.  These candidates are after something far more rewarding, profitable, and easier...the grift.

The most obvious example of these grifters is Mike Huckabee.  Huckabee is running for president you say?  I can forgive you if you forgot, but yeah, I mean he is pretending to anyway.  Huckabee hasn't held political office since 2007.  He ran for President in 2008, which got him a nice seven years of a television show on Fox, numerous media appearances, book deals, speaking tours, and supplement sales.  Since 2014, Huckabee has made just short of 1 million dollars in speaking fees alone.  His show on Fox News gave him a reported annual salary of $500,000, and has used his fame and weight loss story to hawk "natural" diabetes supplements.  Huckabee gave up his show to "pursue" the presidency but rest assured he'll have a job at Fox News when it's all said and done.

Huckabee is small potatoes though.  There is no way he can compete with the divinity of Dr. Ben Carson.  I have no doubt in my mind that Carson's campaign is purely a grifting operation.  I do however, question whether Dr. Carson is aware of it.  Carson's campaign is being run by Armstrong Williams who in addition to his involvement in numerous media groups and PR firms, was paid $240,000 by the Bush Administration to promote No Child Left Behind on his radio show while omitting that he was paid to do it.  Additionally, Carson is suspending campaigning to promote his book and most of the money raised for his campaign has been used for further fundraising.  It's my theory that Williams views Carson as an opportunity to make a lot of money.

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Whether or not Carson is aware of the grift is an open question.  I increasingly get the feeling that Carson may have some kind of mental illness.  The pyramids, the stick up story at a restaurant, the denial of evolution, the story of being offered a scholarship to West Point, all of this leads me to believe Carson may not be the most grounded in reality, even the portion of reality that Republicans inhabit.

Last, but definitely not least, there is Trump.  I'm less convinced then at the start of the Presidential race that Trump is not a serious candidate, but I'm still like 90% sure.  I really didn't think Trump would hang in the race this long and I don't think he did either.  Trump has always been a conman and an attention whore and now he has stumbled upon the sense of white male victimization and xenophobia that accounts for a large portion of the Republican base.  This is a business opportunity for Trump.

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Why would Trump want to be President anyway?  It would be a pay cut, he wouldn't be able to manage his money, secret service protection would drive him insane, people would finally be able to tell him to go piss up a rope, and he'd get bored.  The man would find governing tedious.

What Trump wants is attention pure and simple.  He hasn't had to spend any money to get attention either it just comes to him.  Eventually, it will come to the point where the prospect of winning the nomination may be all too real and something will happen.  Maybe a family member will suddenly become ill or for the good of the country he'll drop out of the race and he'll give the Trump seal of approval to one of the other candidates.

What amazes me is not that these people exist, it's that large portions of the Republican base not only support their policies (or lack thereof), but take them as serious candidates.  In a way, I couldn't be happier. It will take many dead hookers for the Democrats to lose the presidency with this quality of candidate, but I'm worried about everything else.  Clearly, there is a major separation of reality between the Republican base and everyone else.  I can't envision a situation in which this many people can believe President Obama is a gay, Kenyan, Muslim, Nazi, commie attempting to force us into Sharia law, and labor camps where we will subsequently be forced to wear denim jumpsuits and produce Al Sharpton and Lena Dunham action figures, which ends well for the country.

Play on players.  Play on.