Money Going Down the Toilet

commons.wikimedia.org

Hey high school seniors, are you looking for a rewarding career? The new gold rush is on! From AFP:

Human feces contains gold and other precious metals that could be worth hundreds of millions of dollars, experts say.

Now the trick is how to retrieve them -- a potential windfall that could also help save the planet...

...A recent study by another group of experts in the field found that waste from one million Americans could contain as much as $13 million worth of metals.

I knew all that time on the toilet after the Chinese food buffet wasn't wasted.  Maybe Chris Christie can save our economy and maybe Ron Paul was right about reverting back to the gold standard.  I must reevaluate everything.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go do some prospecting...

Wait...What?

Is Mitt Romney actually going to step in the ring with Evander Holyfield?  Will Holyfield kill Romney?

The fight card:

Evander "The Real Deal" Holyfield:
Age: 52
Height: 6'2"
KO's:  29
Net worth:  Holyfield's net worth peaked at $200 million but now is only about $500,000 (Celeb Net Worth).
Career Highlight: Undisputed heavyweight champion and getting his ear bitten off by Mike Tyson

Willard "Mittons" Romney
Age:  68
Height:  6'2"
KO's:  0
Net Worth:  $250 million (Celeb Net Worth)
Career Highlight:  Amassing vast personal wealth through trading companies like baseball cards.

My prediction:  Best case scenario for Romney is a concussion and the worst case is death.  Worst case for Holyfield is being swindled out his remaining money. 

Is this going to be on Pay-Per-View?

Should We Charge 47 Senators With a Violation of the Logan Act? No.

Sen. Tom Cotton

This trend of me defending people I find reprehensible is unsettling.  If I wanted to defend scumbags, I would have gone to law school.  I'm writing about the petition circulating right now asking that the justice department pursue charges against the 47 Senators who wrote a letter to Iranian leadership saying that any deal reached wouldn't be upheld after President Obama leaves office. The petition reads:

On March 9th, 2015, forty-seven United States Senators committed a treasonous offense when they decided to violate the Logan Act, a 1799 law which forbids unauthorized citizens from negotiating with foreign governments. Violation of the Logan Act is a felony, punishable under federal law with imprisonment of up to three years.
At a time when the United States government is attempting to reach a potential nuclear agreement with the Iranian government, 47 Senators saw fit to instead issue a condescending letter to the Iranian government stating that any agreement brokered by our President would not be upheld once the president leaves office.
This is a clear violation of federal law. In attempting to undermine our own nation, these 47 senators have committed treason.

Free Speech Includes Racist Speech

There are few things I like less then fraternities, but racist frat brothers is one of them.  I'm speaking of course, of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity at the University of Oklahoma.  Members of Sigma Alpha were caught on video leading a racist chant.  Since the video surfaced, the University has shut down the fraternity and also expelled several of it's members.  The chant in the video was unquestionably racist, but also unquestionably free speech and expelling a student from a public university because of the content of their speech is unconstitutional.  I hate defending racists, but as someone who is politically outspoken, I would be a hypocrite not to defend the right of people to express their opinion no matter how disgusting you or I may find it. 

Read This: All the Shah's Men

All the Shah's Men by Stephen Kinzer tells the true story of Operation Ajax, the CIA lead coup of democratically elected Iranian Prime Minister Mohammed Mossadegh.  Democratically elected, secular, and moderate Mossadegh was a highly popular figure in Iranian politics.  In addition to the above qualities, Mossadegh was nationalistic and despised foreign influence which led to a feud with the exploitative Anglo-Iranian Oil Company (later British Petroleum) and the British Empire.

I'm a Terrible Eyewitness

I was driving east on I-84 yesterday through western New York, on a snow covered road, when right in front of my car two other cars collided at 60 mph sending each other spinning with one colliding into a guard rail on the right side of the road in front of me; the other colliding with a cable guardrail in the median behind me.  I managed to narrowly avoid being involved in the accident myself and pulled over.  I got out of my car to check on the driver of the car behind me (she appeared to be okay), while my girlfriend called 911. When I turned around to check on the other car, it was gone.